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The Catholic Church and the NFL

January 29, 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Catholic Church Fined by NFL

New Orleans, LA — Earlier today the Archdiocese of of New Orleans received a letter from the National Football League (NFL) about the unauthorized use of NFL trademarked property.   NFL spokes person John Tallibou says that the “Catholic Church in New Orleans has been using unauthorized songs, images, and colors in their services for years that mention “saints” or the Saints color and symbols that are trademarked to the NFL by means of the New Orleans Saints franchise team.”
The NFL is demanding that all colors, marks, symbols, signs, and songs that have any reference to “saints” or the colors associated with the team must be removed from the property of all Catholic Churches in New Orelans.  So far, the list includes: the color gold, the fleur de lis,  the color black, the color white, as well as any songs and prayers that use the words “Saints”, “New” or “Orleans”.
Archdiocesan spokes person Sarah Jane Caliano has said, “The Archbishop and diocese is stunned by this demand.  Does not the NFL know that these symbols are sacred and older than any football franchise?  Does the NFL not know that the team was name thus because of the Catholic culture of the city?  Gold, gold never tarnishes and keeps its luster and beauty for centuries and there for represents God’s divinity and never changing nature.  Black represents those who mourn now here on earth for their sins and the sins of the world as well as the mysterious unknown parts of God.  The fleur de lis is not just a symbol of the New Orleans Saints but also an ancient image of the Lilly.  The same image and flower that symbolizes the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  The fleur de lis also represent the purity of Mary and St. Joseph.  The color white, the color asociated with so many occasians in the Catholic Church: baptism, confirmation, matrimony.  White is the color of purity and rebirth.”
Locals are equally stunned by the request of the NFL.  Johny Ray of J-Ray tattoos said, “I don’t get it.  I’ve been tattooing saints stuff on people all my life.  On their hands, arms, backs, legs.  Does this mean the NFL now owns those people’s body parts.”
Whatever the outcome it is clear that New Orleans is not happy with the NFL’s request.  The Catholic Church of New Orleans is currently in the process of contacting some of its best lawyers and thinkers to help combat the the situation.
And then we hear…..

Pope Benedict suing NFL
Claims only he can use roman numerals

09/06/09 – According to court documents, Pope Benedict XVI is suing the National Football League (NFL) for its use of roman numerals, claiming only he should be allowed to use them.  NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stated that the NFL only uses them for one game, once a year – the Super Bowl.  In 2010, Super Bowl XLIV will be held in Dolphin Stadium in Miami, Florida.

“I’m Roman Catholic and only we can use roman numerals,” said the angry Pope.  “There is nothing roman about football,” added the sixteenth pope of the Roman Catholic Church.  The church wasn’t shy about expressing its views of the NFL.  “How many football players do you think actually know which Super Bowl they’re playing in?” said Pope assistant Giorgio Agosto.  “You think an offensive lineman knows what ‘XLIV’ stands for?” added Agosto.

Goodell claims the NFL is more popular than the Pope because the Super Bowl draws more television ratings than any of the Pope’s TV appearances.  The Pope claims the NFL mocks the church by playing most of its super bowls in New Orleans, LA, home of the New Orleans Saints.  “There are no saints in football,” added the Pope.  Goodell also claims the Pope is just taking out his anger at the NFL for being cut by his high school football team, the Vatican City High School Bulldogs, during his junior year.


2 Comments leave one →
  1. djrakowski permalink
    January 29, 2010 1:34 pm


  2. super bowl 44 live stream permalink
    January 30, 2010 12:59 am

    Well that’s interesting news..Church vs. NFL..haha. I wouldn’t be happy if I were New Orleans neither..

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